Protect Your Neck: Zombie Apocalypse!
Within the past couple weeks; there has been an alarming amount of unusual crimes, murders, and activity. And in light of the most recent news (which took place in my home town) I feel obligated to share my feelings and shine some light unto a growing problem.
PEOPLE ARE FUCKING EATING OTHER PEOPLE!
Yes. There is no other way I can write this. It seems to have started out in Miami, Florida - Memorial Day Weekend. One homeless man was found feasting on the face of another homeless man. Cops stated it took two shots before the man stop “eating” and charged them. Where they proceeded to fire two more rounds. In Maryland a 21 year old male confessed to eating the heart and brain of a college roommate. Few weeks later in New Jersey (the armpit of America), cops had a man rip apart his torso and hurl his large intestine at them. And just yesterday, a woman was arrested in my hometown for stealing a wig and biting out a chunk of the hair shop owners’ arm.
Apparently, there are a few other heinous crimes throughout the United Stated that forces me to believe that the end is near and the time has come when Zombies shall rise.
Now maybe I’m wrong… Maybe I’m right… But it makes damn good sense to me! A few years ago, everyone was saying that the world would come to an end in 2012. And if I’m not mistaken, doesn’t the bible state “When there is no more room in Hell, The dead shall walk the Earth”
I for one, am not going to sit back and be eaten by a fucking Zombie. You have to protect your neck. Therefore, I have compiled a small list of tips and pointers so when the Zombie Apocalypse starts - at least my 30 some odd followers will be trained and educated. Let me also express that, these tips are for defense only… The man who tries to be a vigilante either gets eaten or incarcerated.
- Be able to run fast - Uh, Duh!
- Don’t hide for to long. Zombies can smell fresh blood.
- Aim for the head. This myth holds true, one shot to the brain.
- Wear gloves. HIV is already an epidemic, imagine Zombie HIV.
- Have fun.
The last step is highly encouraged. In bad times, it can be hard to smile or see the positive. If your with other survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse - make a game out of the merciless killings. Try Zombie head bowling… Or make a Zombie campfire - the posiblities are endless. I know it may be hard to keep faith and trust in GOD. However, you will be alright - Just stay strong and carry a gun.
(and the bible doesn’t say “When there is no more room in Hell, The dead shall walk the Earth”. That’s a direct quote from Dawn of the Dead)
31 Day Challenge: Day 1
Let me start off by saying “Happy 1st of May”. It’s been an interesting few weeks (weather wise) and I’m excited for the upcoming months. Unfortunately, today is raining and my Seasonal Affective Disorder is on fritz, but I’m sure by the start of the weekend when Cinco de Mayo comes around, my “spirits” will be high. So, in honor of my hopes for a wonderful 31 days of May, I have chosen to partake in a writing challenge. This challenge would push me to blog more often, as well as explore and share parts of myself that I may feel uncomfortable doing.
I posses a list of different personal questions to be used throughout the month of May. The idea is for me to honestly answer each question and blog my response. Some of the questions are more invasive than others, and I’m sure my responses will be in-depth and emotional. Shit, I may even find myself tearing up.
The reason I’m doing this is because I believe I’m a fucked up individual. I have a lot of problems and issues’ swarming in this big head of mines. This is probably the closest thing to a therapist I can afford (damn I need better health insurance). The idea of me recording and expressing myself in a positive manner instead of running to the closest liquor store is something completely new to me, but I think I can make it through the month.
Now that that’s all said, Lets get rolling on this first question.
Q: What is your full name?
A: Brandon Timothy McCall
I was told that there is only one thing given to you at birth in which you will be remembered by at death. And the answer to this riddle is your name, although I incorrectly answered HIV (sad). No matter whom you are or what you have done, your name goes a long way. It’s the first thing you use when meeting a new person and the last thing someone will remember depending on the impression you leave on them. Without a name what would we be?
I love my name, and I’m proud to call it my own. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of nicknames. This depends on the context in which you call me (wink, wink). But in the end of it all, my name is Brandon Timothy McCall. Nice to meet you!
Are you still considered a blogger if you only re-blog pictures and other people’s work?